The “wai” is perhaps one of the most recognized and favorite aspects of Thai culture among tourists. It may also be one of the most mis-understood and improperly used aspects as well! While it’s not impolite to wai someone unnecessarily, it’s also, well, unnecessary. Sort of like shaking the hand of your waiter before you leave a restaurant – it wouldn’t be rude, but you just wouldn’t do it.
Before you get too stressed out trying to learn the rules of wai’ing, you should know that almost no one is going to be offended if a foreigner wais improperly or not at all. Keep a smile on your face at all times, and do your best, and no one will ever ask any more of you as a guest in Thailand.
Having said that, here is a basic introduction to the wai, from our friends at whywai.com:
Rules of Usage
The most common use for the Wai is in greeting someone. You clasp your hands together in front of you and lower your head while smiling and saying ‘Sawasdee’ for hello. Gentlemen can bow slightly at the waist while Ladies may make a small courtsey.
The Wai is also meant as a sign of respect and is often shown by a person of lower status wai-ing to someone of higher status first.
Rion’s note: Foreigners should not concern themselves with trying to figure out who is higher and lower status than them. As I said before, think of it like a handshake: if it is someone who you would normally shake hands with, then a wai is probably appropriate (and as some Thais really dislike the physical contact required for handshaking, a wai is almost always more appropriate than offering your hand).
Positions of the Wai
The person of lower status would also bend lower, lower his head more and clasp his hands higher. You will usually guess the status of two people that meet by watching the way they waieach other. The lower the head/body, the higher the hands, the higher the status and respect offered. L x HB x HH = W = S Taking notes so far?
It is also protocol that if someone wais you, you don’t have to return the wai but it is very disrespectful to not acknowleadge it. A smile or a nod will usually suffice. Monks and Thai Royality will never return a wai but a King will wai a monk, such are the rules of status in Thailand.
Rion’s note: Put your palms together, fingers closed, elbows in, and bring your hands up so your thumbs touch just below your nose. This is a common, average level of respect, wai. The higher your thumbs are, the more respect you are showing with your wai. So for example, if you go to a temple you might notice that when wai’ing a monk or a Buddha image, Thais will generally bring their hands up so the thumbs are on their forehead.
For a more informal wai, place your hands together at chest level, and bow your head so your chin comes down to your fingertips. This is the type of wai you will get from service people as you check-in to your hotel, leave a restaurant, etc.
Whatever you do, don’t hold your hands two feet away from your body and bend awkwardly at the waste while extending your hands even further outward. This gesture is completely “foreign” to Thais.
When to Wai
When will always depend on ‘who‘ as in who has the higher status or seniority. If your lower in status then you wai first. Most tourist and farang generally would not have to worry about wai-ing first out of general respect from Thai people for your status as a foreigner plus we aren’t expected to understand Thai ways.
However you do go a long way by wai-ing with the proper respect to monks, members of the Royal Family and elder persons. Be careful you don’t go in the wrong way by wai-ing to children, service people like cooks, clerks, taxi drivers or anyone obviously younger than yourself. People and friends of equal status may only wai each other when coming or going.
Rion’s note: I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen foreigners getting out of a tuk-tuk and back away wai’ing the driver several times thanking him for overcharging them for the ride across town. The wai is not a “thank you”, it is a much deeper sign of respect. If you want to thank a service person of any type, you only need to say “Khob Khun Krub/Ka” (or Thank You!) and offer a smile. Again, you wouldn’t offer a handshake to a waiter for bringing you a glass of water – and you wouldn’t wai them either!
Origins of Wai
The strongest cousin to the wai is the Indian Namaste which means welcome, relax and enjoy. Namaste, an Indian word is the highest form of greeting considered an honorable tribute from one being to another. The Chinese way of greeting, or ‘Koh Kung’, also uses the same handlike gesture. It’s pretty obvious that Thai culture not only shares this tradition but was influenced a great deal by it. I’ve always thought Thailand was a unique blend of East and West (Asia that is – although technically India is South Asia but the East/West bit sounds more intriging right?)
Plus the Buddha is often shown in a similar pose with his hands clasped together as a sign of peace. Whether the origin of the wai comes from India, or China or perhaps sprung completely on it’s own from the people that tamed Thailand eons ago the fact is it is Thailand. It’s the heart and warmth of the Thai people and it is with grace, sincerity and beauty that it is offered. Makes the handshake look kinda primitive afterwards doesn’t it?
So even if you can’t speak a lick of Thai to save your life if you know the rules, always smile and can master a good Wai you’ll go over like gangbusters.
So there you go! Go ahead and practice in the mirror a few times before you come until it feels natural. But most of all just remember, it’s the thought that counts, so don’t feel too much pressure to get it perfect!
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